查看完整版本: 浣溪纱.闺怨

浣溪纱.闺怨

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日似火炉地欲红，垂头杨柳带愁容，群蝉乱语扰帘栊。

午梦随风鸾影远，薄衫沁雪杏香浓，眉梢相对锁高峰。[/font][/size]

红心一啊!
只差那么一点点昏沉的感觉...要不还以为是哪家大闺女呢!嘿嘿!
(昏沉:有那么点无精打采的样子)
色香味,仅差那么点味道了.蛮有神韵的!

群蝉乱语扰帘栊，
垂头杨柳带愁容。
午梦随风鸾影远，
薄衫沁雪杏香浓。

随意编排，版主和楼主勿怪。三首诗都拜读了，分别点了红心。

午梦随风鸾影远，薄衫沁雪杏香浓，这句很有感觉啊

上阙写得不太象闺女哟，莫非是传说中的寄情？:lol: :lol:

不错， 我还以为写的是天气热呢，太高深。

[quote]原帖由 [i]xsjfyzs[/i] 于 2011-8-2 22:55 发表 [url=http://67.220.92.14/forum/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=74405417&ptid=3995487][img]http://67.220.92.14/forum/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
红心一啊!
只差那么一点点昏沉的感觉...要不还以为是哪家大闺女呢!嘿嘿!
(昏沉:有那么点无精打采的样子)
色香味,仅差那么点味道了.蛮有神韵的! [/quote]
感谢心鉴兄支持和夸奖。兄弟现在才知道，原来您喜欢昏沉的感觉。呵呵。

[quote]原帖由 [i]guiguziabc[/i] 于 2011-8-3 04:21 发表 [url=http://67.220.92.14/forum/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=74411955&ptid=3995487][img]http://67.220.92.14/forum/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
群蝉乱语扰帘栊，
垂头杨柳带愁容。
午梦随风鸾影远，
薄衫沁雪杏香浓。

随意编排，版主和楼主勿怪。三首诗都拜读了，分别点了红心。 [/quote]
谢谢支持，俺不胜感激。原来无忧兄喜欢集句诗呵。看来，俺也要向这方面多学习了。

感谢4、5、6楼的朋友，您的光临是俺的荣幸，您的指导，更是俺提高的明灯。呵呵。

致7楼秦少:
     你诗里描写的女子,的确需要那种"懒散"来突出.并不是我喜欢哈!
"午梦随风鸾影远，薄衫沁雪杏香浓，眉梢相对锁高峰。"
在这句中明显说了,那位女子不是趴着就是卧着!并且说明了是古代女子!
"日似火炉地欲红，垂头杨柳带愁容，群蝉乱语扰帘栊。"
在这句中表示了这女子在屋里,而题又是闺怨,得出了女子在自己的闺房里.
无论从古代还是现代来看,一个女子在自己的房间里都会有比较自我的情绪表现.
而我说的"懒散'是一种神韵,你却没写出来!

进入其境，方能有其感受。个中滋味，非言语所能尽述。呵呵，想像不怕丰富哟。

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